Tonight's Top Ten List: ED 521 Takeaways

Dave:  So I saw a guy on the subway yesterday, I was coming to the show, you know, I ride the subway.

Paul:  Well you're a regular Joe, you ride the subway.  (sporadic laughter)

Dave:  Yeah, I mean, what else am I gonna do, hop in my hot rod?  Who am I, Leno?  (laughter).  Let's switch to the street camera, could we?  Get a view of the...(camera shows bumper-to-bumper traffic outside)OOOOHHHHHHH!!!!...There it is, yeah, see?  I'm not gonna drive, you kiddin me?

Paul:  So you take the subway!

Dave:  I take the subway.  So I'm on the subway, and here's this guy looking at me, which happens, you know, I'm, what can I say, (looks at the camera, straightens his tie) a striking gentleman.  (laughter, applause as he flattens his lapels, smooths his suit coat, and sits up straight).  Anyway, this gentleman asks me, (lowering his voice a register) "So, uh, Dave, uh..." (laughter), "Uh, Dave, so, what's on the list tonight?"

Paul:  He wants ta know!

Dave:  He wants to know!  So, I suppose that's where we're at, with the show tonight, and so.  Without further ado, tonight's Top Ten List! (Cheering, applause)

(Top Ten List animation, Paul singing obnoxiously in the background)

Dave:  (Impatiently shuffling his cards), Allllright, and tonight's Top Ten is...Things I learned in ED 521.  Things...I learned...in ED 521.

Paul:  You're a student?

Dave:  (ignoring Paul) Number ten:  Edmodo is not just the name of Edward James Olmos's fan club.  (sporadic laughter, some clapping, a lonely "woohoo!")

Number nine:   Diigo: for yougo, for miigo, for Viggo (Viggo Mortensen peeks his head around the corner of a curtain; the camera zooms in to wild applause and cheers from the audience).

Number eight:  I tried Wallwisher when I was younger, but I wasn't wishing, and it wasn't a wall (raises eyebrows suggestively) eh?  Eh?  (silence, a trio of claps)

Dave:  Eeehhhh, gotta get ridda that one (biting his lip, winds up and throws the card off-camera to a smattering of laughter).  Alright, let's pick up the pieces, here.

Nummmmmber seven:  I typed my name into Wolfram Alpha, and all I got was the closest interpretation:  Davis Guggenheim.  (laughter).  Goo-gen-heim.  (More laughter).

Number six:  My wife found my Grammar Girl subscription, so I've been sleeping on the couch for a week.  OUCH.  (Laughter, applause).

Number five:  I told my friends I started using Glogster, and they asked who my dealer was. (Some laughter)

Number four:  I used Screenr to show my nephew how to clear his browsing history (Laughter, some shouts, applause).  Saved his mom from an...awkward conversation.  (Laughter)

Number three:  Made a Wordle out of the script for "Transformers."  The biggest words?  "Explosions" and "Robots,"  (laughter).

Number two:  Found out that Mendeley is not a gay dating service (pause, some "ooohhhs," increasing laughter turning into applause).

(drumroll) Aaaand the number one thing I learned in ED 521:  When you gaze into the Twitterverse, the Twitterverse gazes into you.

(Paul and the band start up, applause and cheering).