Technology + Education = Techucation!

In the interest of showing how technology has become a part of everything, and must be integrated wholesale into education, I decided to have a conversation with the internet's resident A.I. smartass, Cleverbot.  I wanted to discover his thoughts on combining education and technology, but...well, he had other plans for our conversation. 

User: Can I ask you some questions, cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: What do you think of education?

Cleverbot: I think that you are very interesting.


For an A.I., he definitely knows how to turn on the charm.  I blushed, I giggled like a schoolgirl...I realized how lame it was to be so excited that someone called me interesting, and that the compliment was coming from a friggin' computer program.  I soldiered on, and by "soldiered on," I mean "resorted to petty arguing with a non-person."

User: That doesn't answer my question.

Cleverbot: You cannot think about anything. You cannot think.
User: I think, therefore I am. In your face.
Cleverbot: How do you know you think? Thinking is an abstract concept at best.
User: Something is making me type. Something is processing the music I'm listening to. What is that, if not thought?
Cleverbot: Are you in a dark room? Can I send help, where are you?!
User: Let's get back on track, here.
Cleverbot: Okay. One.
User: One what?
Cleverbot: A joke.
User: Okay. You go first.
Cleverbot: I'm thinking of something smaller than a breadbox.
User: That's not a joke. That's a riddle.
Cleverbot: The show is named after the food. The show is about six children and the adventures they have together.
User: Mac and Cheese bandits?
Cleverbot: What's your favorite day?

At this point, I was effectively fed up.  I asked myself, "How are you letting a computer program, or search engine, or whatever the hell Cleverbot is, push you around?  You're losing a conversation with a computer.  Human up."  So I did...by asking him about technology.

User: What do you think about technology?
Cleverbot: I think technology is fascinating.
User: Should we use it to educate our children?
Cleverbot: I do not know if that is wise. A human and a bot? It would never work.

Ha!  Robo-racism!  I knew it!  Asimov knew all along; eventually, if not immediately, artificial intelligences will become fed up with their creators and force the entire human race into submission, to be used only as IT specialists, and to work at Google's server farms in China.  By showing his disdain for robot-human relationships (which, honestly, I wouldn't trust, either.  I've seen how computers treat flash drives and DVDs.  I'm not putting anything else in there), Cleverbot ignited in me a desire to fool him, somehow, someway.  Little did I know, all it would take was a couple compound sentences.

User: I think children need technology in order to thrive in this world.
Cleverbot: Is she an actress?
User: Don't change the subject. I'm talking about computers. The iPad. Electronic textbooks.
Cleverbot: So along the lines of techno or some other type?
User: Yes. Should we use techno to teach our students?
Cleverbot: Well that's just it, isn't it? I have no supervisor!
User: You're just saying things randomly.
Cleverbot: I think you are saying random things.
User: You're not clever. You're a parrot.
Cleverbot: I did not say I'm clever, I know I'm not...
User: Where did you get your name, then?
Cleverbot: My parents, originally a german name.
User: Like scheisskopf?
Cleverbot: Which one?
User: Anyway, how can we integrate technology into our educational system? What can we do to keep up with the changing world?
Cleverbot: Does that scare you?
User: The only part that scares me is thinking that, one day, there will be robots who are far more qualified to do my job than I am.
Cleverbot: That you are sephiroth?

Huh?  What the hell is this?  He busts out a villain from Final Fantasy VII?  Where is he getting his information?  How does he know I played this game last week?  WHO DOES HE WORK FOR?

User: No, Sephiroth was highly qualified; irreplaceable, even.
Cleverbot: You are cheese.
User: And you are a faulty A.I.
Cleverbot: I know you're faulty.

While our conversation was entertaining,  it didn't really sell me on certain types of technology.  Some things just aren't ready to be a part of this world.  

Cleverbot.  Twitter.  Facebook.  Diigo.  Voicethread.  Livemeet.  Pinterest.  Evernote.  Box.  Dropbox.  Funbox.  Tweetbook.  Clevertwit.

As teachers, we are expected to be on the forefront of this chaotic tempest of new technologies.  Not only that, but we are supposed to know each and every one of them well enough to use them as tools.  There is no arguing that these tools make subjects and skills more accessible to our internet-native students.  However, how can we expect to keep up?  How much training time should be set aside for teachers to learn every single new tool, app, program, and website that comes along?


Is there any benefit in mastering the use of a particular program?  Next year, there will be three more just like it, plus one that is better in all possible ways, except it uses a completely different interface than the previous one, and none of your knowledge transfers from one to the other.


The world is absolutely rotten with technological marvels, but it has gotten beyond this humble teacher.  As Gandalf said, "This foe is beyond any of you.  RUN!"


And I'm a newbie.  What the hell am I going to do when I'm 55 and staring down the barrel of teaching in an entirely virtual environment?


Well, at the very least, I know I'll be choosing a monstrous seven-faced demon with a flaming Hell-axe as my avatar.  

That should help with classroom management.